July 10, 2009 Friday…

Yay it’s FRIDAY!  yesterday was a great day. it was a hectic day. it’s been a stressful few days. hopefully today will start a restful period in our lives.

and it is OUR lives.  As a married person you do not live in a vacuum (why can I never spell that word???).

yesterday was a busy day.

we went for our visit with Sloane the nutritionist at our Doctor’s office.  it was Brian’s final weigh in and he lost ANOTHER 11 pounds.  the man is incredible.  so month one he lost 12!

then he gained 4 so he had a net loss of 8

then he lost 11 so he had a net loss of 19

then the next month he lost another 11 so he has a net loss of 30 pounds in 4 months  GO BRIAN!

I gained 6

I gained 4

I stayed the same

I lost 4

net gain 6 pounds in 4 months.

Either way since i lost and I have my head on straight… we were BOTH presented to DVR for our approvals!  Yay.   now our paperwork goes to Rose and is sent off to insurance.

Today I have to “nag” bri to get that chest XRAY done and I have to call Carroll Hospital about his CPAP.

After the doctor yesterday we went to have lunch with friends… Angie and Sylive who I know from http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/MD/a,messageboard/ which is a great place for support and making friends.   Strong personalities abound there so be forewarned…I’m one of them and I can be a big bully.  Sadly I’m not the only one.  I do think I’m the only one that admits it however.  Maybe I’m wrong.  But I don’t think so.  And I’m getting validation from lurkers so that helps!

anyway, after lunch we had to rush over to Amy’s to be with her.  Giles her cat is very sick and she was very upset and that’s what friends do.  Sadly being the ADHD moron that I am I stood my friend Nancy up.  We had plans to meet at the house at 3 and I totally forgot because of the Giles Crisis.  I feel so bad.

we gamed with Amy and then brian and I went to Olive Garden for Dinner.  it was good but both of us ate a lot more food than we should have and both of us ended up with upset tummies of one type or another.

i’m here at work now. got here at SIX! posted on OH before I left the house.  I had time.

I miss FACEBOOK at work but what’s a gal to do?

Lunch today with my BFF (NOT) ROSE  (although since ROSE is the nice lady at DVR’s office that puts our insurance in Maybe she is my new BFF)

July 8, 2009-Wednesday

I wish it was tomorrow already, the suspense is killing me.  Tomorrow we weigh in at the WLS office.  I hope i’ve lost but after talking to the LCSW last night at the support group meeting, I feel that even if I don’t show a loss I will be ok.

the meeting went well.  my food has been good.  i did have soup last night for dinner.. lentil soup from a can no hotdogs.. filled me anyway.

today i am doing all liquid protein… i’ll survive

i’m really thinking of leaving the WLS support website…  I make this post:

Well I get to the auditorium and it’s set up for SEMINAR…  OMG I think did I get it WRONG? (highly likely given the ADHD)… no it’s right the seminar is tonite as well so they moved the support group to a different room… and the nice lady in the pretty dress walked me to the community room.  It was PACKED.   Mostly faces I did not recognize.

Sloane was there (she never has been there before)….  Ranesa greeted me warmly and started the group…  Lots of pre-ops… a couple of folks 2 years out a few 1-3 months out, one woman who was 6 years out… and came down from PA…

and a couple of REVISIONS… two lapbanders who are being revised…  interesting meeting.
Talked a lot about how the NUMBERS DON’T MATTER

towards the end DVR dropped by… he normally is not at the meetings since I’ve been going.  I don’t know why folks think he’s cold.  I like him so very much.

I just listened.  and at the end asked Ranesa if we could talk.

I told her what i was eating/drinking
i told her I was frustrated and dejected
I said that I was thinking of switching doctors

She told me:

1. you are doing everything right
2. you have every right to be dejected
3. DO NOT GET ON THE SCALE
4. do liquids ONLY on Wednesday
5. come and get her when I weigh in on Thursday and if I don’t show a loss she will talk to the rest of the team and tell them she thinks it’s in my best interest to move forward with or without a loss…

So tomorrow will hopefully be the day I get my date.  Even though DVR is scheduling about 4 weeks out… My plan is to schedule brian for the Second week in August and I don’t want to go till After September 19th…  so it should NOT be a problem…

Thanks to everyone who called me and PMed me.  All of your support and friendship really helped!

And I’m not sure HOW but the haters turned the post around on me and made me look like I was a loser for caring about my husband.

ETA on 2009-07-10 (at 7:29 am)

wow not sure how I didn’t finish updating this… oh well.  I”m glad I save copies of posts. I have the copies of the attacks.  even though the person that made them deleted them. what cowardice.

I am sad.  Sad I am.  Not Sam.   Sad.  Frustrated. (and clearly doing KIRK)….

oy will I ever be thin?  I have been eating fairly well.  I know i need to exercise but everything hurts.  the tops of my feet hurt, my muscles are cramping, I’m out of breath constantly.  If i don’t lose weight I can’t have WLS so I can lose weight… what a catch 22, if i could lose weight would I need WLS?

July 6, 2009

7:42 a.m.

Morning all…

well the weekend was great.

we went gaming at  N and As on Friday  and it was fun.  dinner was fun too.   but of course not healthy…. (sorry N….)  chicken fried rice, egg drop soup and pot stickers…

saturday we went to Janet’s Party.  Sarah was there.  it was fun.  Her house is very nice in a lovely part of town.  we stayed much later than expected…  and even brian had fun.

sunday I took Harley and and Hannah to the dog beach.  hannah retrieved for about an hour… harley actually went wading on his own… he’s getting it.  I might go back tonite! it’s a 35 minute drive to get  there so it’s not a quick trip at all…

scale was stupid this morning the first weigh (256.4) seemed excessively low, the I was up one pound, then I was up two pounds…  and then I gave up.  I suck.  I doubt that I will show a loss this week yet again…. Not sure what I’m going to do…

Morning!  it’s july 2nd already… and tomorrow we all have off!

scale yesterday was 258 down four pounds.  food was good and yet i’m up to 258.8 this morning.  sucks to be me.   I think if i keep this atkins shake thing up and don’t lose weight i will be very very very upset.

tonite i’m hoping/planning to go to the gym even if i just do 15 minutes on the arc trainer.

work has blocked facebook. can’t say i blame them.

food today:

breakfast:

coffee w/ff hnh √
atkins shake √

snack:

baby carrots √
2 oz sabra hummus √
100 calorie pack of almonds √

lunch:

atkins shake √
string cheese √

snack:

carrots √
2 oz hummus √
string cheese
almonds √

dinner:

salad of spring mix cucumbers peppers onions and mushrooms
with chicken breast, lf swiss cheese roasted edamame and LF dressing

snack:

healthy choice nsa fudge pop

fluids:

700 ml (23 oz) water with 1 crystal light package (cherry-limeade) √
700 ml (23 oz) water with 1 crystal light package (apple) √
700 ml (23 oz) water with 1 crystal light package (orange) √
700 ml (23 oz) water with 1 crystal light package (orange)  (pending)

Wow it’s July already! How the heck did that happen?

So glad last night stayed good food wise.

Hopefully today will be more of the same.

Scale:  down nearly 4 pounds over night  258.6

today’s plan:

breakfast: coffee w/ff hnh and atkins shake (had the shake LATE about 10:45)
eta: fresh fruit (about 1/2 cup) at a meeting this morning but NO BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
water w/crystal light mix
snack:  carrots and hummus
lunch  Atkins shake
snack:  string cheese and almonds
snack: carrots and hummus
dinner: salad w/lean protein, low fat dressing and edamame

planning on getting a mani pedi today.

June 30, 2009 11:34 a.m.

the time has come the time is now.

I am still finding my way here… trying to figure out how to make this place work best for me.

but after a FABULOUS weekend at the beach with 7 of my WLS girl friends, I am back today a tuesday… on a liquid diet…  not so much because i don’t know what else to do but because I do and I find it hard.

I’m trying liquids today (crystal light, protein drinks, coffee, water)  with some veggies and nuts in hopes of losing some weight for my July 9th weigh in.

If i lose weight, i can be submitted to the insurance and move forward with the surgery I so want.

so in the name of honesty:

Scale 262 (chinese on Sunday, quiznos for dinner last night retaining a ton of water)

breakfast

coffee w/fat free half and half and sugar free vanilla syrup

started out drinking crystal light

so far

47 oz cherry limeade (walmart brand crystal light)
23 oz orange (again walmart brand)

UPDATE: 1:41 PM

23 oz apple (again walmart brand)

1 atkins vanilla shake (around 9:30)

now it’s all I can do to think about the food I DID bring with me… nuts and carrots and hummus….

but since you can’t drink and eat at the same time and i’m working my crystal light I have to wait.

just teaching myself I guess.

Waited till 12 noon

having carrots and hummus

1:19 pm

had 200 calorie packs of almonds.

2:10

carrots and 2 oz hummus

had another atkins shake

have NOT had any of the salt water taffy i brought for everyone else.  still working on the 23 oz of apple drink.

did half an hour of credit

got home tummy was upset.  went potty

dinner:

salad greens, cucumber, mushrooms peppers onions
swiss cheese (2 slices)
can of chickpeas
roasted edamame
salad dressing (low fat)

coffee w/ff hnh

fudge pop (NSA)

NOT a bad night

June 5, 2009 7:40 a.m.

It’s been a long time, getting from there to here  (yes a star trek reference)….

I’ve been lax in so many things but TODAY is a new day.

Yesterday we went to see Sloane, the nutritionalist for Dr. Von Rueden.  Brian bless his heart lost another 11 pounds.  he’s lost 19 total.  I’m really proud of him.  I stayed the same. Everyone but me seems to think this is a good thing. I think it sucks.  I know i’ve been good.  NOT pefect but much better.  All I needed was half a pound… HALF a POUND…. and oops I got NUTHIN’ oh well.

Folks suggested that maybe I wanted to get a new doctor. That didn’t seem right and I thought more about it.   Some doctors do not require you to lose weight or anything other than what your insurance requires.  Since our insurance requires nothing, I’d probably already be done if I had gone to another doctor…. but this having to lose weight to have surgery is a good thing.  It really is.  In the long run,  it really does teach me something.  I mean i know how to lose weight, i have to learn to do it all the time full time for ever and ever AMEN…

Not happy but compliant.  what else can I do.   So today I’m back on track food wise AND I reactivated my gym membership and my gym bag is packed and I”m headed to the pool after work.

Well Well Well, what kind of blog owner am I?  I’m not even here as often as I should be.  Today I’m going to attempt an experiment.  I am doing only protein drinks and crystal light (and of course coffee) today.   my food has been OUT OF CONTROL….

i have not been exercising my hip has really been hurting.

the weekend was busy the weather HOT

hannah is sick yet again… she is not a spring chicken ya know…

no tests this week for me  (i’m done except for the psych part)

bri has his sleep study on Saturday

tomorrow my oldest turns 25.  i am not that old am i?