Hello there.

Late start this morning.   did not get to work till 7:15.  amazing that I think this is late.

girl child is upset. her boyfriend thinks he wants to break up to ‘experience other girls’  UGH.  I told her to tell him “don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out”   at least he’s being honest and not cheating on her.   oy I”m so glad i’m NOT 16 anymore.  poor kid.

Bri is off today, it’s take your rug rat to work day… so his school system is closed.  it used to be a huge deal… now it’s not… at least not for me.  but then my kids are grown…

food yesterday was ok… today we will see I already at 9:45 a.m have heartburn.

I heard they will fix the hiatal hernia i have when i have surgery.

Lunch yesterday was da bomb.  I love the WLS girls from Obesity Help.   one is 4 months out one is a year out one is 18 months out one is 6 months out one 3 months out and one one month out… ugh and me… the only pre-op!  and the only one who made all gone with my salad… oh well soon will be my time.

Good Morning Good Morning.  NOT raining.  I didn’t even wear my jacket in this morning.  I have lunch with friends… Life is pretty good.

Fewer spambots at My South Beach Board this morning.  Or maybe it’s just that I deleted them 3 times yesterday instead of letting it build up.  UGH.  GET ME OFF THE SPAMMER LIST….

Food was not bad yesterday and I DID not have the popcorn!!!!!!!!   I’m proud of me.

Dinner last night was some really really good MahiMahi (pan fried in a bit of olive oil and garlic then sprinkled with  (get this)  PORK RUB…   the spices just were perfect.

Hello,getting back on track now, finally.

I met with Ranesa yesterday and I am feeling better.  I really have to get a handle on ME and not fret about others.  So today i added my food.

my right hip hurts badly but i’ll see how it goes.

i’m picking up some cheap clothes at Walmart to tide me over till after surgery.  after all nothing I have will fit now. i’ve gained 50 pounds since October.  a lot I know.

I really don’t ever know what to write here… i guess after surgery more will be written.

ETA:

12:10  I’m HUNGRY today.  tummy gnawing, feeling empty headachy HUNGRY.  I wonder if it has anything to do with  (WARNING TMI ahead)

the crummy period I am having this month.  I have not had one in a while.  it’s crummy.. not enough for a pad but when I am in the bathroom it’s obvious on the paper and there are (WORSE TMI) clots in the bowl Isn’t midlife so much fun???

OH well.  my lunch i am keeping for a late snack (lean pockets sw chicken quesidilla) lunch is salad and baked chips… oy.

ETA2:

I want popcorn.  I ate too many carbs today already.  I WANT my single serving of POPCORN.  I have to wait till 9:45 and then if i still want it I will make it but I bet I won’t want it.

Good Morning.  I’ve been lax here.  Sorry about that.  Food has been really bad.   I know I can get it under control and I have to.  I Just HAVE TO.  I have Ranesa today so that should help.  Brian has blood work, and the first part of his stress test.   He just called… he’s having his blood work.  He’s so stressed.   I’m stressed too for lots of reasons…

trying to figure out when i can get my surgery and get his done….  we need to fit his in about 2/3 of the way through june if at all possible.  I will ask at the office today…. timing is critical for brian.  I’m flexible.  hell i could go tomorrow if a slot came up…

of course i need to go on the liquid diet to shrink my liver… i’ve been eating really badly….

anyway…  it was a nice weekend.  we went out all day together on Saturday.  Breakfast at Cracker Barrel then dinner oy umm.. cant’ even remember where we had dinner… but we did have a late lunch yesterday at Olive Garden.. yummy.

today is work for 5 hours then Ranesa then the dentist.  ugh.  I hate the dentist.

Hi there.  I’ve been lax.   Weekends are so hard.  And yeah I am not in the best frame of mind lately.  So many things stressing me out.  I’m just about done my tests for the surgery and Brian has till May 15 (or maybe later depending on when I can get this sleep study scheduled)  Girl Child is sick YET AGAIN…   or so she says.  she alleges she’s throwing up but i’ve not heard or seen it.  and she eats… and then tells me she’s getting sick.  The boyfriend has spent two nights in the hospital and i’m being told it’s a virus but I have no idea what’s going on.   She’s also complaining of a lump under her arm…  it appears to be an ingrown hair and i told her to put hot compresses on it.  She asked me where she got hot compresses.  Sometimes that child is thick.

Brian is getting rashes under his arms.  I put gold bond on it last night and yes I secretly delighted in it hurting him.  I almost laughed this morning when he sprayed deoderant on it.  he practically screamed.

The dog leash holder fell out of the wall (to be expected) and i have only asked him twice to do it. but no he had to play warcraft all day yesterday and then dominion last night or he lays on the couch snoring.   I guess I’ll get a stool and figure out how to rehang it myself.

I’m ready to be single this week yet again.  My food is out of control.  my exercise is minimal.  I am tired tired tired of him doing NOTHING to further this plan of ours.  On days like this I really do hope he leaves when he gets thin.  the investment in his surgery will be worth being rid of him and his needy kid.

Not sure why he thinks it’s ok to take take take and not give back.

Good Morning.

well maybe.  it’s raining in Baltimore.  I have some quick shopping to do.  my ipod is synching.  I hope.   i hate that i can’t synch it at work and at home so i’m trying something i’m moving all the music from the computer to the ipod.  if it does not work i’ll re-synch with the one at home…. best i can do  i’m actually doing a restore.  gonna cost me more time and money but it’s worth it to have a clean IPOD.

sometimes technology does escape me.

puppies let me sleep till 8 am.  GO PUPPIES.  right now they are playing tug.  hannah lays on the floor with the rope in her mouth and harley drags all 70 pounds of her around dusting the floor.  of course they killed a stuffy this morning so I have to clean the stuffy guts up…

tonite is gaming here.  and grilling I got hamburgers and hot dogs and we have tons of chicken.  and a ham steak we did not cook last night.

I heard about the Biggest Loser Show.  they are looking for a married couple that is co-morbidly obese and is PRE-OP.  I’ve emailed them   who knows we might be famous!  hahaha.

my food is bad right now and tonite is not helping.  i’m going to try to make a new cake.  in the crock pot.

i’m serving hamburgers, hot dogs (both offering white and potato rolls) chicken, ham steak,  potato salad, macaroni salad, cole slaw, and dessert… we also will have some snack foods available.

it’s an adult upstairs teen downstairs party and again not sure how many are coming…

Good morning!

I’m busy with my new toy:

it’s a Samsung Impression (for AT&T). Brian got one too.   Learning to figure it out… lots of fun.

I’m so glad it’s friday.

I am getting sick and tired of folks who talk out of two sides of their mouth and pretend to be one thing when clearly they are another…. UGH.

I hate phony fake people.   I guess i can go to my FORUM and bitch about it in private.  Members feel free to join me.

So today i’m working Itunes, checking out my new phone, doing some shopping i did not get done yesterday because i’m an idiot and left my wallet at work and by the time I got back and got it and got home and did everything else and over ate at dinner i was too pooped to party.

Ok having lunch with Donna.   that should be fun!

This week is going fast, at least for me.

I nap on the couch from 9-11 so i’m really getting enough sleep. go figure.  Brian is sleeping downstairs this week so i’m getting a decent night’s sleep.

I want to talk about elevator etiquette today.  In public now  a days it’s first on last off… (cause you are in the back).  In my OFFICE, men that do not let the ladies off first are publicly ridiculed.  It’s like our own little corner of 1950 still.    I’ve gotten so used to it that when some new guy gets off before me I’m insulted.

Last night, I took Toby and Michele to the vet with Wiley.  Poor Wiley… so stressed he was practically blowing a coat.  I drove them there but let them have their private time with Wiley.  Toby is destroyed.   Just like Brian was when Bagel was put down.

This morning the alarm went off at 4:46 like always. I know I hit snooze at least twice before i turned it off.  I finally got up about 6:30.  I managed to be at work by 7:30 but I did have to wake the girl child to go down and get me some jeans.  and I had NO GUILT about it.  I have asked her all week to bring up the clean laundry.  she never does.  so i woke her at 6:30 to do so!

Left brian sleeping on the couch.  left the dogs watching him.  told Girl child I was leaving and here I am.  I told them to take ham steak out for dinner.  I have to stop at  Bjs tonite.  I got my $20 dollar check from the BJs credit card.  for every 2000 points I accumulate I get $20.00.  it’s working nicely now that I’m paying the card off every month and using it to ammass points.

oh well I better go work… more later.

Tags: brian, Diet, Dogs, elevator, etiquette, michele, teenage behavior, toby

Good Morning….. well such that it is.  last night I got home, got brian and girl child and we went to see Toby and Michele and Wiley their 13 yr old Corgi.  tonite at 5:15 Wiley goes to the Bridge.  For those that don’t know about Rainbow Bridge  here is the poem.  but be WARNED.. if you have ever lost a pet and you are not made of stone you will cry.  I CRY and I’m a cold hearted Bitch.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

Author unknown…

I am the driver for tonite.  after all Michele took me when I had to put Bagel down in September.  UGH what a horrible thing.  T and M have no children and Wiley is their baby.  My heart breaks for them.  But sadly it’s the natural order of things when we love pets.  they DO NOT LIVE long enough.  and it’s time.  Poor pup’s been in a dog wheelchair for a year…

Anyway Back to my insanity (as if my friends was NOT enough…)  I binged yesterday AND I did not exercise.  AND my stomach is still UPSET AND I have to go get on the scale for the nutrition visit today at the doctors AND I’m betting I’m going to be told that i’m too out of control for the surgery.

I’m sure Brian did not do much better as we’ve both been bad.

I KNOW this surgery is not magic.  I KNOW it can’t fix my head.   I know that I have to learn to just NOT care about food and not want to eat and not put shit in my mouth.   I KNOW this.  And the funny thing is  I LIKE good food.  I also like BAD food.  and I’m lazy.

I admit it.  I admit I want the surgery as soon as possible.   Brian wants it in June.  Ugh.  I could go probably early or mid May and get a jumpstart on him.  Maybe I’ll have to the doctor talk to him about it or the LCSW….  Maybe part of my problem is that I’m ANGRY that he wants/needs to go first and he’s putting it off… and he’s fucking around.

He was told he needs to lose 25 pounds.  he’s doing jack shit about it.

anyway… dinner tonite will be screwed up again.  I have to get control.  soon.

ETA:  brian lost 12 pounds!  I gained 4.  ugh.  but it spurred me on to make a good dinner.

i took toby and chele to the vet for wiley.  toby is very very sad.