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Ethnic Chicken

Nothing Ethnic, Maybe some Chicken, Mostly Nessa

On Scales, Calories, Input, Emotions, and Insanity…

on May 6, 2010

On Scales, Calories, Input, Emotions, and Insanity…

Maybe I should just call this the insane post of the day.  Because, I am insane.  I am nuts.  WHY do I give a hunk of metal SO MUCH FREAKING POWER???  Why do I, WHEN I look the same as I did yesterday or last week, think I’m so much fatter just because the SCALE says I am?  WHY do I give it power?  It’s evil, I need to stay off of it.

Thankfully, I am not so insane as to alter workout or eating patterns because of a blip on my scale radar… but STILL…it affects my mood…. I mean I’m wearing a CUTE outfit today… blue sundress, blue jersey jacket… great earrings… HEELS… and yet in the back of my mind I’m FAT FAT FAT… but I’m not.  It’s water… it has to be…. I mean what else could it be, According to my GoWear Fit I’m over the last week generating about 1000 per day DEFICIT so shouldn’t I be DOWN 2 pounds this week NOT UP????

It does make me mad. It makes me sad. It frustrates me.   But I refuse to let it get me down. I mean what choice do I have?  I can’t go back to eating the way I was eating pre-op, Oscar would not handle it well. And I don’t WANT to stop working out as I feel so much better doing the yoga and the weights…  I even can run a bit now… although my knee kills me afterwards…

I see folks on the board on OH eating under 1000 calories per day at the same level I’m at and I wonder if I’m doing something wrong with my 1680 daily…. It makes my head hurt to think about this.  The GOWEAR fit says I should be eating 1681 a day… that seems like A LOT for a WLS person less than a year out… but I think that perhaps a few years down the road it will hold me in good stead as I don’t struggle with having to hold my calories at 1200 a day to maintain.  I want to be able to eat like a normal person later on…. I eat like a normal person NOW… just smaller amounts.

Yesterday I had Soy CHIPS.. LOTS of salt.  I had leftover Quodoba burrito bowl more SALT… and I had a lot of it at 9:30 right before bed… so I guess I can’t be mad.  I also REALLY need to potty… oy vey this potty thing is getting to me…

WHY do I second guess myself???


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