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Ethnic Chicken

Nothing Ethnic, Maybe some Chicken, Mostly Nessa

Rather Random HUMP DAY MUSINGS…

It’s Wednesday… It’s hump day…. it’s the day before my darling husband turns 40… I must go get him a card today as tonight is our celebration… Tomorrow he works half a day and then he’s off to the races… he’s going to February Freeze which is a big remote control car race.   He has gone before but this is the first year he’s really going for the whole time.  He will be gone Thursday through Sunday… it’s good for him… he loves racing his little cars and he loves his friends.

And it’s good for me… I get to go visit a friend too…  and visiting this friend is FUN… I get to be mindless and childish and just relax and kick back and not work too hard at anything other than napping… maybe watching an old movie or two… oh and EATING… JUNK… I eat  and drink whatever I want when I visit friends….

I look forward to these visits.. probably more than I should… it gets me away from my day to day life..  if only for a little while…  usually a 23 hour reprieve.. sounds much like a hospital stay when outpatient is authorized…  this visit is a bit longer… about 48 hours.. I plan to make the most of it…

I should do a bathroom fashion show today but my heart is just not in it.  My pumps.. my favorite black pumps with the black bows… are TOO BIG… most of my shoes are too big… I look like I”m wearing mommy’s shoes.  I am actually going to go at lunch and get new shoes.   And I have to find something to eat for lunch…. and I can be a bit flexible… because well because the scale was below 150 today.

Below 150… it’s magic for me…  I went away for the weekend with hubby… to Lancaster.  It’s my FAVORITE place in the world for so many reasons…one of which is the FOOD… peanut butter covered pretzels.. full fat cottage cheese, apple butter, thick cut bacon, home made ice cream… yummy stuff… but the scale on monday was 153. It was well deserved and I just knew exactly what to do…

I used my tool… I stopped all the mindless munching.. I dropped all the simple carbs and went high protein… and poof two days later I’m down just over 3 pounds…  now I know if I stick to protein and no simple carbs I can drop weight easily… and yes there were times yesterday I was hungry but not overwhelmingly hungry… I could cope… I even ate a bit of bread…  and life is good.

Today I’m a bit more relaxed but still watching it…  I did my walking and my yoga… I feel good.

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More Fashionista Talk…

Well I’m getting more and more into shoes… SHOES… who would have thought it.  but I no longer wear a wide.  I have gone from a 9 wide to an 8 regular in most shoes…  Wow…  I was at the mall last night with my darling husband and we looked at a LOT of shoes…  I’m also very much into clothes now… skirts even more than ever before…

but OMG shoes… today it’s peep toe kitten heels…  now I’m short I can wear HIGH heels but there is something about kitten heels I love…   I didn’t 100 pounds ago. I hated heels. I hated shoes in general and wore what was comfy.

NOW  I will sacrifice a bit of comfort for sex appeal and fashion… I mean it’s freezing today and I’ve got PEEP toes on…

and they are new and my feet hurt…

but the slacks would not look right with ugly comfy shoes. and skirts.. they require special shoes too… so I go shoe shopping… more and more.

I just got a lovely pair of wine colored suede pumps.  I can’t wait to wear them I wish it was DRY enough. I”m going to scotch guard them….

I also find I do my hair more now

I wear makeup more now

and I got contacts.

I feel pretty

I feel sexy
I feel GOOD!

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Skinny Jeans

I’m so shallow.   I bought new jeans on Saturday. I spent way more than I normally do on jeans.  I wonder if it’s because they were a size 6 or if they fit so well and feel so good… and look SO GREAT.

Yes I’ve worn them two days in a row now. I will probably wear them Friday too!  OMG I love them.   I feel SO GREAT in them. I think I”m attractive in them.  Maybe I’m not but it makes me feel like I am so I act like I am and I walk tall and fast. I think men are staring at my ass now… these jeans fit my thighs and my ass… there is no bagginess there. and I can and do wear BOOT with them…

BOOTS… knee high… sexy boots..  I feel pretty… I feel sexy… I feel GOOD.

it was worth it.

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Before and After..

as requested by a dear friend I have put up a comparison of me at my heaviest and where I am now…

ok I put it up but gave no info

red outfit probably spring 2004 or so… I must have been around 300 pounds I don’t remember.

the after shot.. friday night before going out with hubby  HALF of the woman in the other picture…

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Plastic Woman…

Ok since today is a bathroom fashion show I guess we shall talk about something else as well.

but first… here is my bathroom fashion show for the day:

1. the jacket is an 8 an EIGHT for gods sake… I feel really good in this outfit btw:

Ok so now let’s talk about my body image.   In clothes I don’t look too bad, especially if I stand up straight and suck in my belly…  and wear good foundation garments.. and don’t try to pretend that I can cram this belly into size 10 jeans.  Naked… now that’s another story…  I hate my body naked.     For several reasons.  I don’t care about scars or  stretch marks, those are battle scars earned by years of living and well deserved.  What I hate are

my deflated hanging remnants of breasts

my belly

my thighs (and therefore my knees),

my back and hips.

OH and my thin hair.

That’s a lot of hate…  so maybe I need to balance it with what I like:

from the top down I LIKE:

my curls and color

my eyes

my nose is not bad

my mouth is good and i love my smile

my ears… they are small and flat against my head

my shoulders. I LIKE THEM… they are round but not flabby… they are defined.

I have collar bones! I like them

I like my biceps

I like my wrists

I like my calves

I like my ankles.

so basically from the armpits to the knees I want to replace.  That’s a lot of replacing.   And based on what I’m hearing NONE of it is going to be covered by insurance.  So now I have to figure out how to pay for it.  not sure what to think.. I guess a few more doctors are called for. I have an appointment on December 28th for a consult.    At least i can get an idea of what it’s going to cost and how much more weight he thinks this will take off of me.

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Monday Bathroom Fashion Show

so it’s been forever since I  wrote.  My Bad as the kids say.  Life is busy.  Kids are good. I’m ok… hanging in

weight at 14 months out is about 160 so i’m as done as I’m going to be based on how i choose to eat…

I did go shopping this weekend and got a ton of new clothes so now we do fashion show for a bit:

gray slacks and a purple top.. hard to tell eh?

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Today’s post is brought to you by the letter C

C for Cougar!

I think it’s funny in a weird sort of way that my daughter’s BF Matt

This is my favorite picture of them right now... they were just having fun and her smile is so true and natural..

said I look like a cougar in this skirt.     Now I’m going to trust Matt’s opinion because at 22 wouldn’t he know???

again it’s a bathroom fashion show  so the quality is not great, but here we go:

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The Comparison

Ravens Shirt 1/17/10:

Same Shirt  9/17/10  45 pounds lighter:

Pictures can’t lie….  sometimes I don’t see it  stuff like this helps!

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what I look like after the gym

not pretty….after the gym before the shower...s0 why posted… well look at those calves… the DO NOT TOUCH

the body is proportional  the waist rather small

the butt NOT VISIBLE ON THE SIDES

the arms… nicely muscular

no double chin and YES those are metallic teal fingernails

I had just spent nearly 2 hours in the gym

1 hour on the treadmill

half an hour lifting

half an hour stretching.

who ever would have thunk that’s how I would WANT to spend a saturday morning…

go me!

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Monday Monday

and oy I’ve got a belly ache.  I was a total slug yesterday…

not feeling good at all have had protein drink and two cups of  tea so far today… thinking of food but afraid to eat what I know is good for me and do not want to live on bad carbs when I’m like this even though that’s what feels best on my belly.

here’s what I am wearing today  I think I look dumpier than I should.  I just do not look good in photos lately.  I noted that when I lay on my side my hip bones are there as are my ribs. the skin/fat falls to the bed… ugh.   also note that there is space between calves and knees.   (thighs too if i stand on my shoulders and the skin falls up…)

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