Archive for the ‘RandomNESS’ Category

3
Jun

an author? me? nawwwww

   Posted by: Nessa

Folks often say I should write a book.  I’m not sure why; I mean I’m only 50 what do I have to say?  I’ve gained and lost weight; I’ve worried about my weight and ignored it.  I’ve had children both mine that I did not raise and someone else’s that I did.  I’ve loved, lost, loved again, run away, saved myself and loved yet a third time, well enough now I guess.   I have pets, dogs and/or cats, a bird here or there.  I’ve struggled with ADHD, I’ve ignored ADHD.  I’ve had depression or so I thought. I’ve smoked, I quit, I smoked again and quit again.  I’ve buried a parent.    I’m lazy yet driven.  I’m thin, yet fat, I’m fat yet thin. I’m stable yet insane.  I’m neat yet messy. I’m neurotic and yet magically in touch with reality and right and wrong.   I think that I’m amazing and boring all at the same time.

2
Jun

Musings…

   Posted by: Nessa Tags: , ,

I swear I need a tape recorder for the gym…I think of such wonderful things to write about while doing my walk on the track… and I am SURE I am going to remember them but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  they are GONE before I get to the locker room…

maybe a note pad… I don’t think i can listen to music and make voice recordings at the same time..

The scale was UP today.   2.2 pounds worth of UP…. that sucks ya know  I only saw it once but I already liked 173.  Oh well I guess 175.2 isn’t bad.  just glad i never said I OWNED 175… just renting it…   I just wonder if even though I say the scale does not affect me it does?

I mean yesterday I felt thin and light and fluffy and cute… today I feel fat. and I’m not it’s 2 pounds of water for god’s sake.  it has to be water.  I ate very little yesterday.  I wonder about this food in food out stuff… I mean my gowear fit says I”m generating around an 850 calorie deficit on average…  I guess I am that’s about 6 pounds lost and that’s about what I’ve lost….

why is  this such a slow process?  why do we go up 2 down one up 3 down 1 up 2 down 3?  I hate it.  I wish there was a rhyme or reason to it… there is not.

28
May

TGI FRIDAY….RandomNESS

   Posted by: Nessa

1. Girl Child has graduated.  NOT sure how that happened.  but it’s done.  now to get through summer, finding a job and getting ready for community college.  I fear we are going to have to learn to drive now… oy vey.

2. my toe hurts.  Not my big toe, not my baby (pinkie) toe, one of the middle toes… only hurts when I WALK which pisses me off cause that’s that I like to do now for exercise… but I have to figure out what’s going on.  it’s not swollen it’s not red.  It looks like it’s getting either ingrown or infected. so I think I will soak it tonite…

3. My scale showed me UNDER 175 this morning.. Yay me.   this RNY thing is really working…

27
May

graduation

   Posted by: Nessa Tags: , ,

pictures tonite more later…

22
May

Prom Photos…

   Posted by: Nessa

she was stunning… tall, slender, very well done hair (thanks stephanie)  more about this later but here are the photos…

15
May

at The steampunk World

   Posted by: Nessa

got here last  night

spent a fortune on a hat and shirt for bri and then a gorgeous jacket and skirt for me… OMG we are still so underdressed

having as much fun as we can… amazed at how much food is around and we can’t eat.   breakfast… 4 bites of egg with hot sauce and Oscar (the pouch) is screaming)  a few bites of dry hash browns (not greasy) and some well done bacon (yum)  and a bit of fruit… I’m done…

btw  here is my shot from my phone last night:

oh so even though we are at the hotel I can go yoga… they have yoga  on the tv!

sensing a trend????

Ok so last week I got this Body Media Go Wear Fit armband thingy….  WE ARE BORG RESISTANCE is FUTILE… (we yeah with the darn thing on I look rather BORG LIKE…. since it rests on my arm (I’d show you but my PHONE died today and it’s the only camera I have)….

well i set it to make sure I did 7500 steps per day… simple right… NOT on lazy weekend days…  so last night at 8 pm I was not going to make target for calories OR steps without some EFFORT… so I fired up the Wii…   and unwrapped the Wii Fit Plus… OMG I did it for 45 minutes.    the dogs watched me… I liked it.  Now let me point out that I would NOT have gotten on the WII FIT without the Go Wear FIT and that because of both of them I’m getting fit… but of course I get obsessive so my husband is having a fit..

Now I’ve been wearing the GoWear Fit since Friday.   I got my regular day on friday:

I walked over 8,000 steps and burned over 2300 calories and ate under 1600 calories

it alleges 1 hour and 17 minutes of moderate activity (it was a yoga and cardio day so shouldn’t’ it be more?)

I manged just over 6 hours of sleep and had 91% efficiency… that is the coolest thing to me… that it can tell me how efficient my sleep was.

oh and I had over 700 calories deficit  (If I am reporting my calories right)

Saturday was even better as my friend NIK trekked me all over downtown Baltimore… I burned nearly 3000 calories on Saturday and ingested under 1000 I should have a HUGE deficit…  over 2000 and I do

AND i took OVER 16,000 steps and had moderate activity for over 3 hours on Saturday… WOO-HOO right?

I really am enjoying it and I forget the arm bad is on.. the display is a bit much for a watch and I’m thinking of going to a clip on for it instead…

so why is the scale up nearly 4 pounds since Friday???  Corn Chips?  Al Pacinos (a great local place for Middle Eastern Food) and Chip0lte…  oy SALT… and potty issues…

27
Apr

RandomNESS

   Posted by: Nessa Tags: , , , , , ,

Yep Yep Yep it’s time for one of THOSE posts… not all about WLS or health or what you normally have come to expect…

no todays topics will be  Skin, clothing, knee pain (again), arms and shoulders and GARMINS.

So first let’s talk about my GARMIN…   Why in the world do I want to talk about a GPS.  Because mine is more than a GPS and it’s a smart cookie too..

We now have two Garmins.   Brian went to Bristol TN for a NASCAR race and took the Garmin with him.  This made sense… the only problem was that Andrea and Beth were visiting Baltimore that weekend and Nik and I were going downtown to see them..  I DO NOT go downtown without  my Garmin so I had to go and buy a new one.

Well this new one is very interesting.  It has bluetooth so I talk on the phone through it… which is really quite helpful especially since Maryland is going Hands Free in October by law.   It has 3-d photos of the intersections to show me which way to go, it speaks the street names, it has traffic so it tells me how delayed I am.  AND yesterday it figured out ALL by itself that going to work my normal way would take me longer than the back way.  So it automatically adjusted.  Now I don’t NEED the garmin to get to work but it does the bluetooth and  now that I know it tells me if the beltway is too backed up to use  it will be part of the morning routine…

Let me tell you about Baltimore Traffic…  We are some of the WORST traffic in the COUNTRY…  I live NINE miles from work.  NINE MILES… this is 3 beltway exits (actually 2.5 since one is right as soon as I get on and I could take instead of the one I take before it)   NON-RUSH on the beltway I can be there in under 15 minutes…  RUSH hour… well depending on the traffic I’m 15 minutes to FORTY FIVE minutes.  to go NINE MILES…  yesterday would have been an HOUR on the beltway to go THREE exits.   The back way takes about 25 minutes but I’m MOVING the whole time… on the beltway we are SITTING A LOT…. and you have to be hyper vigilant.   There are lots of TRUCKS (18 wheelers) and tons of morons…..   I am very thankful that i have so many OPTIONS to get to work.  I can get off at the exit before if it’s really bad….or tough it out…  UGH..   I HATE driving to work.

Today I came in early I was at work before 7  there was still traffic.   Oh well summer is coming and once schools are out it’s a bit easier…

On Clothing:

I have a closet full of clothes… lots of cute summer dresses… some stuff that’s too big.. NOTHING that’s too small.  FOR THE FIRST TIME IN I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG THERE IS NOTHING IN MY CLOSET THAT IS TOO SMALL.  Yes there is stuff that does not fit but that’s cause it’s TOO BIG!  OMG!  I am able to wear 14s.  they fit snug.  but  not TOO snug…  at least not according to everyone else… according to me they feel TIGHT… but they look as ok as a chick with skin is going to look…

I can’t figure out sizes.  I wore 14s on Friday I wore 18s yesterday I am wearing 16s today…   all jeans… granted these  are a teeny tiny bit baggy in the thigh (and maybe the butt I don’t know I never look at the butt I’m all tummy and if I can get it to fit there I”m happy.

This morning I was a good girl and I put one pair of jeans and 2 tops in the donate pile…I tried on a purple top and in my heart i knew it was big.. but not too big… so I kept it…  the two tops I put in the pile are fairly new and not TOO big but big enough.  the hard part’s going to be doing the sweaters from this past winter… Jeans are easy…  tops are hard…

today I have my shirt tucked in.  but i felt weird so i put a cardigan over it..  at least as I get less fat I get better style.

Of course one of the reasons clothes are fitting better is I’m working out…. sadly that leads to pain along with the glory

My knee is bothering me.  It started Saturday after working out…   It’s NOT the meniscus which had a cortisone shot a week ago it’s the Baker’s Cyst…  I’m going to have to have that sucker removed… it really is limiting me.  it ACHES… I can do all the yoga poses and all the weights and stuff but the constant ACHE is wearing on me….

I guess this is a good transition to my arms and shoulders (which ill then be a good transition to our FINAL topic of the day SKIN…)

I noticed on Sunday that my SHOULDERS are very defined.   my biceps are large but not bulging.  the batwings stink but what can I do?  My quads are like rocks… I’ve got some serious definition showing up.  and I LIKE IT… I really LIKE IT….  I like working out…  I don’t like the knee pain.  I recorded my workout with Tammie and that might help me.  I’m going to do a few more… get an idea of what I want to do… write it all down then record all the machines and settings on the itouch and it will be most helpful!

Too bad exercise is not going to fix the skin….  it’s getting bad….

ON SKIN:

(just posted this on OH)

IMO EXERCISE has NOTHING to do with skin….  only muscle.

let me tell you I am lifting weights twice a week with a trainer and doing yoga three times a week (along with 3-5 30 minute bouts of cardio weekly) and I have SKIN like you would not believe….  and I’m not even done losing.

I look like a sharpei puppy….

my arms have wings which looks weird because i have large biceps and great shoulders….
my boobs… well there is no hope for them… NONE….
my belly when I sit looks like a tushie because it creases in the center…  the panni hangs so low you can’t even see if i’m a boy or a girl….
my back folds onto itself like a puzzle
my inner thighs I can’t even begin to describe them….  but suffice it to say it’s so bad you can see it below the pannus…

my husband bless his heart loves me no matter what but his refrain when he sees me now is  “you’re going to need plastics”…..

Thankfully right now my rashes are pretty much under control… god bless Nystatin powder.  But it involves daily wash and dry and powder… and sometimes twice a day and as the warmer weather comes it will be even worse.  I wonder if the constant ache in my neck is the weight of the boobs pulling down on my shoulders…  I wish I was brave enough to post pictures of this skin….

the inner thighs are so ugly and horrible empty sacks of skin….almost two inches can be pulled out of each upper thigh…   I can see a mons lift in my future as well…

I am not looking forward to plastics it’s a horrible recovery and if I didn’t have the rashes I’d not think about it….

23
Apr

Today you can call me skinny…

   Posted by: Nessa Tags: , ,

because today I FEEL skinny… I thought I LOOKED Skinny but I’m not so sure what do you guys think:

the top is from Old Navy size XL.  The Jeans from Dress Barn… size FOURTEEN… yes 14 and NOT so tight that I can’t breathe in them… or move.   A bit snug on the leg but I think they are supposed to be that way.  So here I am feeling all skinny today and yet the camera adds weight and I feel like i look fat in the pictures… but I don’t.

I mean I don’t look like THIS:

October 2005 I think...

WOW….   so today I feel skinny…. I feel good.  I went out with Angie and we had lunch… I got to see my hubby and give him a kiss… he liked the pants… GOOD…  It’s a beautiful day here…

20
Apr

shirts and sadwiches

   Posted by: Nessa Tags: , ,

Today is a momentous day.

Today I wore this outfit:  (it’s a horrible picture but folks requested so I tried at work with my cell)

and then I ate a Sandwich for lunch

arnold whole wheat sandwich thin

ham

swiss

guacamole

spinach leaves

ETA:  I ate HALF of the sandwich.

today I go see the ortho… wish me luck…

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