Wow. Today is one year to the day I had Roux-En-Y (RNY) surgery. A year. How the hell did that happen??? It’s been a wild Ride.
I have to go back and read journal entries to get all the details right. Let’s talk about the here and now for a second. Life is good. I walk, I do yoga regularly, I can lift weights as needed and I have energy and stamina like I did not before. I can climb a flight of steps and not be out of breath.
I weighed 253 on my scale the morning of surgery. This morning I weighed 160.8 not quite to my goal but less than ten pounds away from it! So I go back and I read stuff to figure this out.. I remember HATING the pre-surgery weight loss requirements. Gained 6 gained 4 stayed the same lost 4 net gain of six pounds… really sad. And it made me worry that I’d be a failure at it after WLS.
There are times I still FEEL like a failure… I mean here I am at a year out and NOT AT MY GOAL! I’m at my doctor’s goal… but not mine. What does that say to me or about me? I remember waiting waiting waiting… Waiting for the insurance to approve me… scared they would not… of course they did..
On July 7, 2009 I said this : …oy will I ever be thin? I have been eating fairly well. I know i need to exercise but everything hurts. the tops of my feet hurt, my muscles are cramping, I’m out of breath constantly. If i don’t lose weight I can’t have WLS so I can lose weight… what a catch 22, if i could lose weight would I need WLS? What strikes me about this post is not the part about losing weight, it’s the part about the exercise… EVERYTHING hurts… now I work out… hard… at least 3 days a week! And I like it. A LOT!
So I had surgery and I did fine. I stayed one night in the hospital and came home. I had nausea. I had an allergy to the stuff they paint on you to make steri strips stick… I felt crummy. I never had regret. And once all that cleared up I healed pretty quickly. I was 253 on my scale the morning of surgery. And while I’ve kept a spread sheet of monthly weigh in results since surgery I don’t go all the way back to the beginning with the daily ones. Or even the weekly ones.
I didn’t start keeping track till mid December for some reason.
I do have notes like this:
12/7/09 down 33 pounds in 11 weeks
3/24/10 down 63 pounds in 6 months
By December I was working out regularly I’ve been consistently faithful with my supplements and I was pristine with my food for the first six months.
At 5 months out, I wrote a long piece and in it I talked about wanting to weigh 150 or even 146. I was just under 200 at 197.5 or so. I still have a goal of 151 but I doubt I’ll ever see 146 without plastic surgery. My skin is horrible. I have a lot of it. And it has a lot of subcutaneous fat.
It’s been an interesting journey and I’m sure it’s not over. I have made some good friends. I have good times. I feel good. I still weigh 300 pounds in the matrix… (you know how they say the way you see yourself in your mind is how you look in the matrix it’s residual self image and it’s a perfect way to describe how formerly fat people see themselves)
So yesterday in the shower, I noticed how I can feel my bones when I bathe. I put my leg up to wash and there are curves, bones, and hollows that weren’t there a year ago.
Shopping is fun now not tiring; of course getting clothes that fit is interesting as you never know what size to try… before it used to be just get something big enough to cover you that was easy to put on and comfy. Comfort was the key… easy was the key… cause I would break a sweat just getting dressed in my size 26 pull on pants after a shower. Now the shimmy involved in getting into the form fitting size 10 jeans is laughable… a nice way to start my day but still…
Would I do it again? Yep. Would I change anything? YEP I would have done it YEARS ago…
Tags: clothes, feelings, surgiversar, weight loss, WLS, yoga
