Ethnic Chicken

Nothing Ethnic, Maybe some Chicken, Mostly Nessa

Fourms… Support or Obsession

I love message boards.   I love support that I get at message boards… I love attention I get at message boards.  At small message boards such as  South Beach Friends I’ve made AWESOME long term REAL friends.  Many of them I’ve met in person.   That kind of board is special.   Your friends, know you, love you, care about you, do NOT blow smoke up your butt…they call it like they see it.  And that’s a good thing.  Having friends in real life and/or online who tell you WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR vs. what you WANT to hear are good.     It may hurt but it’s important.

South Beach Friends started out as a diet support board.  It’s morphed into  a bunch of friends hanging out and speaking their minds… and I love that.  

But it’s still about being healthy and sane… and my current situation is NOT sane.  NOT at all. And I know this.  So what is it I need for support right now?   I am in a long distance relationship.  I HATE it. It’s killing us. BOTH of us.  WE are so freaking sleep deprived it’s NOT funny. it’s as if we need to be on the phone half the night… as if that makes being apart better… but does it?  

We become non-functional in the important parts of our day.  Hell I’m non-functional now just thinking of him… I worry about Jim, he worries about me,  phone calls are a lousy substitue for hugs…  so I seek others who GET it.  Well at South Beach Friends, there are no LDRs going on… so I look for other message boards..  but what do I need support for?  

It’s:

1.  A long distance relationship

2.  An age gap relationship because I am 13+ years older than Jim

3.  A relationship that contributed to the breakup of my marriage  (NOT the cause but the catalyst)

4.  Dominant personalities trying to find their way

5.  addictive personalities trying to find their way

so tell me where is the message board for  Long Distance Cougars…. etc etc etc….

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Cheating? Magic? Easy? Part ONE

This is a very very long post… I will break it down into  parts.

This is PART ONE

Background

How about NONE of the above?

I am getting SICK and TIRED of the ARROGANT and IGNORANT people who think that Weight Loss Surgery is ANY of the above.

First of all let’s address the two aspects of MY type of WLS.

I had Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass (RNY).  The Roux-en-Y gastric bypass procedure involves creating a stomach pouch out of a small portion of the stomach and attaching it directly to the small intestine, bypassing a large part of the stomach and duodenum. Not only is the stomach pouch too small to hold large amounts of food, but by skipping the duodenum, fat absorption is substantially reduced. In addition, the amounts of food we can eat are greatly reduced.  I used to eat and eat and eat.  An unaltered stomach can (and does) hold up to SIXTEEN CUPS of food.  My pouch now holds probably 6-8 oz or so.  Eventually it will grow to hold 8-12 oz.  Much better than 16 cups don’t you think???

In addition I have some rules that have to be followed.  At this point there are two food rules that I live and die by:

1.   PROTEIN FIRST.  I strive for 100g of protein a day but I tend to be ok with a range of 80-120.   My doctor would be happy with 60-80 but I work out pretty hard for his standard patient and I’ve been well educated by the likes of Andrea, Nikki  and Melting Mama so I tend to be more aggressive with things like protein and supplements (vitamins and such)

2.  NEVER EAT and DRINK at the same time.  AND wait at least 30 minutes after eating before drinking.   I do drink up until the time I put food in my mouth but once I eat I stop drinking.  I will never ever break this rule on purpose (I’ve done  it by mistake but not on purpose)

There are also rules about sugar and fat but I tend to bend those a bit..

So what does this mean for me?  It means is, I can eat very little food at this point. Eventually I should be able to eat what is considered A NORMAL amount of food.  The problem with this is that what OUR society (vs. what is medically necessary) considers a normal amount of food is EXCESSIVE to the extreme at this point.

I wish sometimes that I could eat more. But  I can’t.  And what the surgery has taught me in the extreme is that YES I can survive and THRIVE on the amount of food I am ingesting daily.  I thrive, I work out, I live. I enjoy.   It’s a good life. I have NO deprivation of any kind.  Thankfully I am not in any way shape or form suffering from side effects or problems.  I have friends that struggle so to stay healthy that my delight in how easy this feels (and yes right NOW it does feel easy) sometimes become guilt.

I had this surgery nearly ten months ago on September 22, 2009.  It was my rebirth in many ways.  I thought about having lap band but I like the malabsorption part of the RNY, even if it does not last forever. (Well to be honest the malabsorption of the nutrients does but the caloric malabsorption goes away sadly) I like that my pouch is tiny.  It still is tiny by the way. I was thinking at 10 months out I should be eating much more normal amounts and sometimes I can.  Most times however, I eat ¼ of a serving of something (half of a half) and call it a day. In fact, I went to lunch today with Leslie, Sylvie, Angie and Brian showed up.  Between the FIVE of us, we ordered TWO quesadillas.  We all had leftovers.  I had about 3 tortilla chips with salsa and TWO small wedges of steak quesadilla.  Oh and a couple of spoonfuls of rice and refried beans… YUMMY.  AND DONE.   AND then, (but wait there’s more) Angie Bri and I hit STARBUCKS for large (venti) iced decaf coffees.  That’s gone now too… I will have a snack later.. I will enjoy a dinner and a snack and more iced decaf…. And somehow today I will manage to get in about 1500 calories, 100g of protein, 150g of carbs and 60g of fat or so… and yet… I still continue to lose weight.  Maybe that’s the part that’s EASY.  The fact that I’m living and doing it well and I’m happy?

Is life supposed to be hard?  I don’t think so.   So let’s talk about these ideas of  CHEATING, MAGIC or EASY….

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A new day a New beginning

Hi OH HI….  Hello….  HI THERE!   (do you speak dog?  cause that’s how I talk to the pups…)

It’s THURSDAY…. a bright sun-shiny spring day in Baltimore… which is about as good as I can come up with.

Today is LUNCH WITH THE BFF…  that’s how the invite came…   love that girl. have for nearly 20 years…. long before she loved me I knew we would be buds… she’s saved my life a few times in every sense of the word…   I would travel almost anywhere for her…  oh wait, I have….  the ADD tour of the south 2 summers ago was one of my favorite vacations ever.   TEN days in a VAN with her… driving from city to city to get some furniture to her darling daughter in TEXAS….  this trip involved a pilgrimage to GRACELAND… oh and drunk dialing my darling husband from NOLA  but that’s another story for another time…

So there was a blow up at southbeachfriends yesterday.  My fault.  Truly.  I was snarky.   Yes I was.   BUT I really feel that I was snarky BACK.    The key is at least I ADMIT to being a bitch….  an evil SNARKY bitch while those that I snarked at think they did nothing wrong.  How sad for those that live in imaginary worlds where they are wanted.  NO ONE BELONGS WHERE THEY’RE NOT WANTED  (I’ve got that song on right now… What You Didn’t Say) I love Mary Chapin Carpenter and have for years and years and years.   She was my gateway to Country Music.

Who invented the word SNARKY???  it’s such a good word.   Ok I looked it up. It’s a 1906 british slang term from  1866 SNARK…  meaning irritable who knew?   I thought it was an internet thing…  as now it’s used to mean a cranky response… as in  NESSA was SNARKY to  <insert the name of whomever I was snarky to today> when she said <insert my most passive/aggressive mean spirited comment here>.

Sadly for folks  I’m always snarky when I OWN THE SITE and can do so.     What’s really sad is that I’m not even going to the site today.   Not cause I’m afraid to see what was said   who the hell cares what they think.  I’m not going because I’m waiting to calm down enough to just be able to say “WHATEVER” to them.

The truth is there are several people at  SBF that I don’t want there but since I can’t see a reason to remove them other than I don’t like their motives, I can’t justify it.  At least not in my mind.    Not that they don’t think I will remove them.  AND that is the KEY to why they are the way they are.  THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHO  I AM OR WHAT I’M ABOUT.  How sad for them.

I know there are webmasters that rule with an iron fist and it’s my way or the highway… and they seem to think that I’m censoring them.   ummm  NO!  Censoring them would mean I delete their posts and deactivate their accounts.      Some of them are even attempting to  set up ‘reading accounts’  in the fear that I will deactivate them.   I f that’s what they think they need to do, I can understand why I don’t want them there, because they don’t grasp that although I totally disagree with their thought patterns, their beliefs and their motives, I will allow them their delusions and freedom AT THAT SITE.  Yes I will.   Truth be told,  while I OWN it.  it’s not MINE… THIS IS MINE.   I delete users here daily.   I moderate EVERY SINGLE POST here.  and will continue to do so….  Aaron and I are the ONLY moderators here.  But the SBF site,  well  their belief that I censor is just ludicrous.

I know I’m going to have to go to the site soon.  I know i have to deal with this insanity.   Today I do not. Today is send the Critical Patch letter day at work.  Today is not a good day for me to play with whiners.

Today’s health report:

There was no dinner last night there was noshing… half a protein bar, have a protein tidbit, got home had some imitation crab and some bacon horseradish cheddar then ate  pudding, banana strawberries and chopped pecans with whipped cream… oy such a diet…   but there was serious exercise yesterday…half an hour on the arc trainer,  an hour of yoga that left my knee hurting so badly I have an appointment with  the ortho knee guy on Tuesday… probably to ask about a brace since today the knee is feeling much better… yesterday I thought for sure I was going to need surgery. I know i have a misplaced Baker’s Cyst and a partially torn meniscus which may or may not now be totally torn due to use…  SERIOUS use…  Yoga three times a week is really stressing the knee but I need the YOGA so I can walk the rest of the week…. and to keep my brain sane…  I do have some transfer addiction clearly…

I would do a yoga class every morning if they offered it at the gym…

oh the scale this morning:  185.4.   amazing.  it was 189 when i went to bed.  WHY I got on the scale last night I have no idea.   but i did and i expected 187 or so this morning… Yay me!

today:

commute:  click/designer whey/milk/coffee

breakfast:   none

lunch:  applebees with donna

snack:  cheese or protein bar or both half a banana

dinner:  no clue

snack:  dried fruit I”m sure no potty this morning.

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03/28/09

Weird Weird Weird.  The New post toolbar is missing my fonts and sizing.  Oh dear.  At least I have my colors.  This is what I get for tweaking.  I did find a message board for wordpress and will be installing it.  Ethnic chicken will have its own message board… how cool is that???

News:   we lost girl child last night, I found her. Sleeping in her room.  Oy.  She never even told me she was going to bed. Or if she did I did not hear her.

Brian got home around 11:30 from race practice.  Not a good practice.  He’s already gone for today.  Since I’m going out tonight I won’t see him till later.

Tummy is a tad upset…  I made a new casserole for dinner last night and it sucked.  Gummy, flavorless… and appears to have not agreed with me.  UGH.  Oh well live and learn.

I’ve put in a load of laundry already

I’ve called the Baltimore Sun to have them send out a new Sunday paper that was delivered last night (Friday) and is soaked. It never came.

Still looking for someone to take the table and hutch.  I think we are going to have to move it to goodwill ourselves.

My wrist hurts (right).  I think I pulled a muscle or something yesterday.

The dogs are being restless and annoying but it’s raining so they have to suck it up.

Tomorrow we are gaming with Norman.  Amy has something to do.

Tonight I’m going out with girl friends.  OY!  Must stop and get some cash before I go.  I’m excited.  I don’t go out with the girls all that often.

Oh well not much to really say today.

I could talk about my lack of control food wise but I am not sure I want to.

Did I mention that I put the gym membership on hold?  I was going to cancel but she told me I could put it on hold for 3 months (April may and June) and then I can get a doctor’s note till after my surgery and recovery to put it on medical hold till I am ready to come back.  With Brian.  So I’ll try that for 3 months it’s only 25 dollars a month for the hold.   Gives me time to think.

I kept thinking I should get on the bike this morning but I did not.  Oh well.  Maybe I need to push myself harder.  I know I need to tighten up on my food….

ETA:

Food has been very carby today

Fluids light

Exercise non-existent (I’m going out tonight I plan to dance some)

I’m home alone today that’s always a bad thing for me.  I really need to discuss this boredom eating with the nut. At my next visit.

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