Potty is fine
food yesterday was good (even if I did have half a petite fillet with bacon horseradish cheddar on it for dinner) with smashed potatoes and some roasted veggies  (yes I can eat like a normal person, only smaller amounts…)

what i Need is a good 2 week liquid protein diet… NOT Happening… too early for real dieting… I should still be honeymooning and losing…. arrghhh…  oh well the fact that I do yoga three times a week cardio 5 days a week and lift two days a week means I’m doing something right…

On March 27th I saw 189.8 for the first time  I stayed in the 180s for THREE whole days then bounced up to the 190s again for SIX days…. SIX long horrible days….

April 5th I hit 189….  Rock solid… 189 and i know that’s my weight now… 189… I should be THRILLED…. I Mean after all  I only DREAMED of 189 for how long before surgery…. NEVER thought I could get there…. in fact 189 was my secret private don’t tell anyone goal.  I figured 189 was where I’d get and settle. I feel good here. My numbers are good (Cholesterol 127, glucose 84) and I can move… improvement is seen weekly in Yoga by both the instructors and myself…. it’s that obvious…  so I should be happy right?  I’m at goal right?

WRONG…. WRONG WRONG… so now what’s my goal?  what’s my secret private goal… hmmmm…. hmmmm… instant response 169….   just like I used to say  ONEderland was my goal… it wasn’t 189 was my brain goal.   So now I can say 179 is a goal but in my heart of hearts I know that it’s 169….  and I wonder if I will EVER get there….

But I digress…

anyway  so on 4/5/10 i was 189…  Then the DROP came…
187.6 down to 186.2 back up to 187.2 then a plummet to 184.8 then the climb back to 187.4… Which is where i sit… still below the magic 189….  I should be happy… I’m not.

oh well

Tags: fluctuation, frustration, scale