Oh I’ve been so busy….  first of all we went to the First Annual  STEAMPUNK World’s Fair this weekend.  We took tons of Pictures that you can see here.

We spent tons of money that we should not have…. and had a BLAST… well I had a blast and Brian and Gidget had a good time most of the time (although Gidget did get Wonky on him once or twice)… but OSCAR was a GROUCH most of the weekend…  OSCAR has been  a grouch a LOT lately.  Given the option I’d drink all my food… OSCAR just does not like what I like… although he is getting better…

We drove up Friday night and stopped at Starbucks along the way (Maryland House or Chesapeake House I can’t remember which).  I finally made Gold Card status this weekend!  Took me nearly 5 months!  Unlike Brian I dont’ get Starbucks Daily… Maybe I should….  Anyway we got to the hotel (which was VERY NICE) a little after 6 and got checked in… A suite.   Walk in and there is the table the couch the chair a small fridge and a microwave and coffee pot.  Then the door and a bathroom, and the bedroom with a second sink… and a king bed.  two tvs… it was a nice suite and we enjoyed it tremendously.  it’s nice to have the air at 65 when you don’t have to pay for it on the monthly bill (yes I know I pay for it in higher rates later on)….

We got settled and walked over to the other hotel which was where the fair was supposed to be but it grew so much it got way out of hand….  we grabbed some food then set off to explore…    we found Pendragon Costumes and spent a TON of money…  Brian got a hat, a shirt and a hat topper/wrapper with them.   He looks SO handsome in a top hat…  He added brick red goggles that match the topper/wrapper and dang…

I got a very cool Jacket… brown leather nice lining, buckles.. big pouffy sleeves and it fits and will continue to fit no matter what as I can push the sleeves up.. and tighten the beltings… I also got a bronze skirt that ties for the waist so it will ALWAYS fit me.

Spent a ton… but we love the stuff…

WE died early friday and saturday nights because we are old decrepit people but we also know we could not have gone as long and as hard as we did friday saturday AND sunday had we not had WLS.

Saturday we got up and while I had EVERY INTENTION of exercising that just DID NOT HAPPEN.  IN fact,  Saturday was the FIRST day since I’ve had the GOWEAR FIT that I did not make all my goals.  I did not get my moderate activity of ONE hour done.  I was close however.   The GOWEAR FIT has really impacted how I live my life even after just under 3  weeks… I walk more, I move more.   Since April 29th I have lost 3.6 pounds, that’s over a pound a week!)  I have developed the habit of parking farther out so I make my 7500 steps a day. I  work HARDER in the gym…. I go to the gym MORE….  I want to BEAT my old personal bests…  go figure.

Anyway…. I didn’t exercise this weekend (unless you count the Victorian Rave on Sunday)…. but I walked and I lifted and I moved…  I also TRIED to eat EGGS yet again…

Let’s talk about Nessa, Oscar and Eggs.

Nessa loves  ALL eggs.   Nessa and OSCAR love hard boiled eggs.   OSCAR hates scrambled eggs and omelets.  Nessa cries from this.     I ate TWO hard boiled eggs on the road on the way up to con… NO PROBLEMO!

Saturday morning I tried a bit of scrambled egg… PAIN… OH THE PAIN… even with hot sauce  Sunday morning I tried OMELET… MORE PAIN… even with salsa…cry cry cry… I miss eggs for breakfast esp since I can’t have pancakes, waffles or french toast.  BREAKFAST was my favorite meal of the day…

pretty much ANYTHING in the morning makes Oscar cranky.   I had half of a half of an english muffin with fat free cream cheese… and some fruit.. nope  it hurts.

VERY VERY VERY well done bacon works… but how much of that can I eat????

Oscar does not like to be away from home.  He’s one GROUCHY pouch… I lived on Trader Joes Pita Puffs most of the weekend… and roasted edamame…

but I digress…  Anyway  Saturday was the  steampunk persona workshop… very very very cool… Saturday night was the murder mystery dinner…. we had fun and made friends but we absolutely were not happy about how it was handled.  we thought we’d be given clues and then have to solve the mystery… naw… but it was fun.

Sunday we went to the Evil Laugh Competition and the Tesla Vs. Watt game show… we also went to see Emperor Norton’s Stationary Marching Band.  They are my new fav band.. LOL…  shortly after that I drove us home.  we made good time and we will do it again…

Tags: gowear fit, pouch, shopping, starbucks, Steampunk

Today is April 22, 2010, 7 months ago at this time I was in surgery.  I had Gastric Bypass at St. Agnes Hospital with Dr. David Von Rueden on September 22, 2009, just 5 short weeks after my darling husband Brian had it.   At the time it seemed like a good idea.  Now I’m not so sure.

This has been a rough week for Brian.  He is in a LONG LONG STALL and he feels like a WLS failure.  He is not.  He is down nearly 35% of his body weight in 8 months… this is a good thing. He has gone from over 475 pounds to under 315… this is TREMENDOUS… the problem is, he’s still over 300 pounds and I’m not…   While he is VERY compliant about his food and drink, he’s not so compliant about his exercise.  And he knows it.  And we are working on it.   I wish this WAS magic.  It’s not.  It’s HARD work.  Trust me on this….  I work HARD to get as far as I get… and It is slow…  Let’s look at this:

The morning of surgery I weighed 253 on my scale.  (Or was it 256 I can’t remember)… let’s say 253 because I don’t want more credit than I deserve. This morning I weighed 184.4.  How casually I can say that now… but OMG I never thought I’d see the 180s again.

Let’s look at my weight loss monthly since surgery:

Date                              Weight              Monthly Loss      Total Loss      # of months

9/22/2009                 253                        0                                  0                           0

10/22/2009               236.4                     16.6                             16.6                      1

11/22/2009               225                        11.4                             28                         2

12/22/2009               214.2                     10.8                             38.8                      3

01/22/2010               204.8                     9.4                               48.2                      4

2/22/2010                  197.6                    7.2                               55.4                      5

3/22/2010                  191.8                    5.8                               61.2                      6

4/22/2010                  184.4                    7.4                               68.6                     7

The red text indicate months I lost less than average

The orange text indicate months I lost AVERAGE amounts

The  green text the months I lost MORE than average.  Of couse once you get past month six it’s a free for all… so there really is no average… I guess I’m all green now….

So what is AVERAGE?

According to my friend Pam T.

Month 1:                                                       20ish pounds lost

Months 2-6:                                               7-10 pounds per month lost

Month 6 and beyond:                           5-7 pounds or whatever your body feels like doing

So the average at 7 months out is anywhere from 60-77 pounds.  I’m right in there at 68.6 pounds… just under ten pounds per month… but still over 2 pounds per week… ya gotta look at the averages…2 weeks ago I lost NOTHING for the week.  NOTHING… not one ounce.  The week before I lost 3 the week following 3.2  so over a 3 week period I lost over 6 pounds…   Heck I weigh daily and if I did not look at monthly and weekly averages I’d be NUTS.  Because weight loss is not linear, comparable or predictable…

So what is a typical day like?   I think that’s often the question newbies to WLS have…

Weekdays:

Alarm goes off  at 4:55  of course somewhere around 4:30 we all stirred.  I adjusted the tv for the news. the dogs rearranged themselves, hubby went potty… (interestingly enough I do not get enough fluids to make me get up and go potty at night any more…) we then nap till the alarm goes off.  Lazy mornings mean we aren’t bolting out of bed till 5:20…  If it’s MONDAY, WEDNESDAY or FRIDAY, I’m packing work clothes in my gym bag, breakfast, lunch and snacks in my lunch tote grabbing a shower and heading over to the gym.  If it’s THURSDAY I pack gym gear in the gym bag, and head to work because I train with Tammie on Thursday afternoons.

Personally I much prefer Yoga Mornings and wish EVERY morning could be a yoga class morning… Yes I know I could do yoga at home alone… but the dynamic of the class helps.  I plan to record the classes on my itouch along with recording my training sessions with Tammie she can state the name of the machine and the weights and reps for me.. It will be a big help when I’m on my own.  And yes after this set of workout sessions I will be on my own… makes me sad and scared but what else can I do.. it’s very expensive to work with her.  WORTH every penny but still….and I can’t depend on her forever, eventually I have to be on my own and take care of myself…

As usual, I digress…  ah the joys of an ADHD brain.  I think blogs were invented for us…  we ramble along in our own little worlds ya know…  But I do love yoga.  Especially now that I can move… and breathe and it feels better to do it than to not do it.  Yoga has become one of my transfer addictions… seriously.  I love it.  I need it.  For several reasons.

1. it makes me feel better emotionally to have accomplished something

2. it makes me feel better physically and it’s helping to keep me flexible and limber

3. it’s a nice start to my day.

But back to my day….

Every morning I make a protein drink to have in the car on the way to work (I drink some on the way to the gym on gym mornings)

8 oz milk

2 tsp benefiber

1 scoop Click (vanilla or mocha)

1 scoop Designer Whey Vanilla Praline Protein Powder

2 squirts of sf syrup (praline or vanilla usually)

shake this well in my CLICK shaker  and pour into my travel mug that has already been filled with an espresso shot of coffee.

nuke for 45 seconds.

I start EVERY morning with this drink

it’s got about 32 grams of protein and it holds me all morning.   Of course I’m not a big eater yet…  most days.  I do have my moments.

Anyway I have to remind myself to eat and drink… I swear I could go all day with nothing.

I have alarms set to remind me to take my vitamins…

Food that is good for me is not interesting.  I’d rather not eat.

Food that I miss (ice cream, bagels, cakes, cookies etc) scare me and I don’t touch them….

EATING is a chore.   Truly.   it is NOT the pleasure it once was and I am sure will be again…

I don’t think I get enough veggies. I don’t get a lot of fruit…

Protein I’m good with cause of all the protein drinks…

Clothes…

clothes are interesting.  I never thought I’d struggle with body image but I do.  I do not see myself as thin. I have to take a trusted friend with me shopping or else i don’t do well… I buy shirts too big… LOL how funny to me that I am struggling with this….  I was in size 26 at my heaviest.  my 24s were tight the morning of surgery…  now i’m in 14s pretty much… some 16s.  I keep saying I’m in 18s but the 18 jeans were pulled down last night without unbuttoning them… I think 16s are the biggest I can go now…

And shirts… depends on the cut  large or XL  but NOT  3x or even 4x.  And yet I still gravitate towards the big girl sizes…

Bras… were 48DDD now I think 42DD or even 40DD not sure… have to be fitted.. oh joy…

So here I am at 7 months out… losing weight, feeling great loving life,

are there any down sides?

yep… food struggles… emotional upheavals….body image issues,  SKIN… oy I’m starting to try to figure out how much of me is fat and how much is skin….  I’m starting to think there is way more skin than I thought… because although I’m still a solid 184 pounds,  I don’t think I have much more than 30 more pounds to lose… and I have no idea where I am going to tuck all this skin….  I guess I better start saving for plastic surgery….

Tags: averages, brian, clothes, failure, gym, shopping, surgiversary, trainer, weigth loss, WLS, yoga

Went out with the BFF today… we’ve been friends for way too long… too long to admit.  We were young when we met… I was in my 20s… we’ve raised 4 kids between us… had a few husbands… finally have it figured out and life is good for both of us.  She’s loved me fat or thin, redhead or not… I’m a goof and she’s my rock… the stable normal one to my insanity…. but it works well for us.

Anyway today was SHOPPING… (and lunch)…. we went to Arundel Mills Mall in hopes of finding CLINIQUE BONUS TIME…. we did not find it but we did find CLINIQUE…  and some clothes…for me… and some books for both of us… but I digress.  I got jeans today… SIZE 14.   So why do I feel FAT?  a year ago I was nearly size 26 again… I”m down to size 14 and I feel like a failure and I feel fat….  Sometimes.

The 14′s looked GOOD…. felt GOOD…. were on sale….. I swear I may wear them with the tags on….  wondering what the weather is tomorrow…I got some cute tops too.  And beige corduroys for my STEAMPUNK costume for the SteamPunk World’s fair next month… they were 16s… I bet I could have done them in 14… Tops are still XL but that’s for the boobs… I’m thinking 40DD still… noticing bad skin under my arms now… might have been the bra I was wearing…

oh i did get 6 tanks for under clothes… size large cause i like them SNUG….

did some more shopping later with DH that included some new WORK-IT camis and some sports bras….

But that’s so NOT what I want to talk about today here…   Donna and I were sitting at Chili’s having lunch…. (and I eat pretty normally now… I had the inside of half a wrap with chicken and a couple of french fries and brought the rest home…) and she asked me how much more I wanted to lose…. well I’m at about 185 now.  I think I want to SETTLE at 155… I was a size 10 20 years ago at that weight so I bet I’ll be an 8 now?  Sizes have so changed ya know…. so I told her FORTY more pounds….  that gets me to 145 and gives me 11 pounds bounce back room… Well she pointed out how good I looked at 155… so I’m really close to being at goal.  I am 29.x  pounds from permanent goal weight and 39.x from lowest weight ever…  that’s NOT A LOT….  IF I continue losing an average of 2 pounds per week I am about 4 months away from permanent  goal….  and less than 5 months from bounce back weight and I can’t see this happening.   or maybe I can and that scares me to death…

I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that I might get to goal…. maybe that’s why I set my goal so low… so that I’d never get there…. who knows.

Tags: BFF, body dysmorphia, body image, Friends, goal weight, shopping, Steampunk

my post from SBF:

Morning Gang,

hope everyone is ready for a great spring weekend.

my report:
workout yesterday was good… 15 minutes cardio before, then worked out with tammie (hard arms light legs cause of my knee) then 35 more minutes of cardio… I really don’t do the workouts to get thinner… or stronger unless you count STRONGER as the ability to get out of bed every morning without grabbing the wall due to pain….. this is my biggest fear about seeing the doc on Tuesday what if he tells me I have to stop working out or doing yoga even for a little while. it’s taken me SIX MONTHS to get as far as I have it will take me less than 6 weeks to LOSE all of it… I don’t want to go back to being a cripple…

after the gym I went shopping…

SOLIDLY in size 16 pants… zippers and buttons and all… I can do size 14 if they are elastic waist… WOW… tops are XL or L WOW… I used to be a 4XL FOUR…. tight four even… WOW…

so what did I buy:

1 pair of kakhi ankle length cotton pants.. (wearing them today)
1 pair of black pull on pants for work (size 14/16 fit perfectly)
1 pair of beige pull on size MEDIUM petite…. a tad snug but wearable with an over blouse
1 pair of white denim capris WHITE… size 16… really really cute… bri liked them..
1 blue jersey cardigan (can be a top or a jacket)
1 crinkle/wrinkle flowered 3/4 sleeve top (looks awesome with the black pants)
1 grey and white striped 3/4 sleeve jersey pullover size large.. a tad snug.. looks cute with the white capris
1 3/4 sleeve print top with a ruffle at the neck… black pants or jeans or even the white capris
1 blue thin 3/4 sleeve deep v-neck top for wearing with the tight beige pants

i think that’s it… 110 dollars… can’t beat it.

I’ll shop with BFF on Sunday too… CLINIQUE bonus time at Macy’s

scale this morning: 186 on the nose… oh well…. 1.2 up from my lightest… that’s a potty session… bfd..

on a conference call now…

this morning I did 25 minutes cardio and broke a decent sweat… i read somewhere once that the more you sweat the more fit you are and the more efficient cooling your body can do… but I might be wrong…
yoga was more restorative… I think Tammie tailored it based on our chat yesterday about my knee…
I worked hard. I need to work on core strength…

I noticed breathing today was deeper and better….
plank is improving…

food today:

commute: click/protein/milk/coffee frap
work: chai latte
lunch: at las vegas… probably split a fajita with angie
snack: protein bar cheddar cheese
dinner: chicken w/gravy and roasted veggies
snack: dried fruit and nuts… 

*******************

my knee is really bothering me.  i’m glad i’m seeing the doctor on Tuesday… I have mixed feelings about it… what if he wants to operate ASAP… or what if he doesn’t?   I just want this nagging pain to go away…

Tags: food report, knee pain, new clothes, shopping, yoga